{"product_id":"honk-if-you-are-driving","title":"Honk If You Are Driving","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"185\" data-end=\"231\"\u003eBumper Sticker – “Honk If You Are Driving”\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"233\" data-end=\"530\"\u003eCongratulations, you’ve just discovered the most aggressively stupid yet undeniably brilliant way to spice up your commute. Meet the \u003cstrong data-start=\"366\" data-end=\"410\"\u003e“Honk If You Are Driving” bumper sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e, a masterpiece of vinyl chaos engineered to confuse, amuse, and distract every poor soul stuck behind you in traffic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"532\" data-end=\"1005\"\u003eWhy does this sticker exist? Because driving is boring. Because everyone takes the road too seriously. Because sometimes you need to weaponize comedy in the form of an 8.5\" x 3\" slab of weatherproof vinyl. This bumper sticker is less “decoration” and more “psychological warfare.” It turns every red light into a social experiment. It makes every impatient tailgater question their existence. And honestly? It might be the funniest thing you’ll slap on your car all year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1007\" data-end=\"1226\"\u003eImagine it: you’re at a stop sign, some dude in a Dodge Ram rolls up behind you, and he reads: \u003cstrong data-start=\"1102\" data-end=\"1132\"\u003e“Honk If You Are Driving.”\u003c\/strong\u003e His brain short-circuits. He honks. You laugh. Somewhere, the sticker gods nod in approval.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1228\" data-end=\"1231\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1233\" data-end=\"1282\"\u003eFeatures: Weatherproof Vinyl, Car-Safe Chaos\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1284\" data-end=\"1454\"\u003eDon’t confuse this with a cheap gas station peel-and-pray. Frog Mustard only deals in \u003cstrong data-start=\"1370\" data-end=\"1393\"\u003epremium-grade vinyl\u003c\/strong\u003e designed for chaos enthusiasts with a sense of durability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1456\" data-end=\"1987\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1456\" data-end=\"1565\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1458\" data-end=\"1565\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1458\" data-end=\"1482\"\u003eTrue weatherproofing\u003c\/strong\u003e – This bumper sticker scoffs at rain, UV rays, snow, sleet, and even car washes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1566\" data-end=\"1658\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1568\" data-end=\"1658\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1568\" data-end=\"1589\"\u003eCar-safe adhesive\u003c\/strong\u003e – Slaps on strong, peels off clean, leaving your paint job intact.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1659\" data-end=\"1791\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1661\" data-end=\"1791\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1661\" data-end=\"1678\"\u003eMagnet option\u003c\/strong\u003e – Got a bumper that’s allergic to adhesive? Our 30mil thick magnet version is just as deranged, and removable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1792\" data-end=\"1905\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1794\" data-end=\"1905\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1794\" data-end=\"1817\"\u003eBold, legible print\u003c\/strong\u003e – Reads clearly at 60 MPH, because maximum confusion only works if people can see it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1906\" data-end=\"1987\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1908\" data-end=\"1987\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1908\" data-end=\"1927\"\u003eLasts for years\u003c\/strong\u003e – We’re talking \u003cem data-start=\"1944\" data-end=\"1984\"\u003elonger than some of your relationships\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1989\" data-end=\"2098\"\u003eThis \u003cstrong data-start=\"1994\" data-end=\"2012\"\u003ebumper sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e is built to survive everything from highway speeds to passive-aggressive HOA notes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2100\" data-end=\"2103\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2105\" data-end=\"2127\"\u003eWhy Frog Mustard?\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2129\" data-end=\"2403\"\u003eBecause no one else is reckless enough to make a sticker this dumb and this durable. Frog Mustard is not some faceless corporation slapping “Live, Laugh, Love” on generic vinyl. We’re a small, feral team out of the Pacific Northwest who believe your bumper deserves chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2405\" data-end=\"2863\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2405\" data-end=\"2486\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2407\" data-end=\"2486\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2407\" data-end=\"2442\"\u003e50,000+ stickers sold worldwide\u003c\/strong\u003e – that’s 50,000 bumpers causing problems.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2487\" data-end=\"2584\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2489\" data-end=\"2584\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2489\" data-end=\"2514\"\u003e7,000+ 5-star reviews\u003c\/strong\u003e – people are unironically thrilled by how unhinged our designs are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2585\" data-end=\"2669\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2587\" data-end=\"2669\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2587\" data-end=\"2621\"\u003eFeatured in the New York Times\u003c\/strong\u003e – yes, the NYT wrote about our chaos factory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2670\" data-end=\"2769\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2672\" data-end=\"2769\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2672\" data-end=\"2711\"\u003eStocked in Zumiez \u0026amp; 70+ indie shops\u003c\/strong\u003e – retail stores are willingly carrying our feral vinyl.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2770\" data-end=\"2863\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2772\" data-end=\"2863\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2772\" data-end=\"2794\"\u003eRun by a tiny team\u003c\/strong\u003e – me, my fiancé, and a dog named Marshall (who helps with morale).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2865\" data-end=\"3075\"\u003eWhen you buy Frog Mustard, you’re not buying from some mega-brand. You’re joining the \u003cstrong data-start=\"2951\" data-end=\"2964\"\u003eFrog Army\u003c\/strong\u003e, a community of drivers, sticker collectors, and chaos gremlins who treat their bumpers like a comedy stage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3077\" data-end=\"3080\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3082\" data-end=\"3103\"\u003eWhere to Slap It\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3105\" data-end=\"3207\"\u003eLet’s be honest: this sticker belongs on your car. But the battlefield is bigger than the open road.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3209\" data-end=\"3650\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3209\" data-end=\"3293\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3211\" data-end=\"3293\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3211\" data-end=\"3229\"\u003eCars \u0026amp; trucks:\u003c\/strong\u003e The primary chaos arena. Tailgaters won’t know what hit them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3294\" data-end=\"3378\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3296\" data-end=\"3378\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3296\" data-end=\"3308\"\u003eLaptops:\u003c\/strong\u003e Perfect for broadcasting your energy in coffee shops or classrooms.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3379\" data-end=\"3463\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3381\" data-end=\"3463\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3381\" data-end=\"3395\"\u003eToolboxes:\u003c\/strong\u003e Bring humor to every jobsite and make coworkers question reality.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3464\" data-end=\"3518\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3466\" data-end=\"3518\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3466\" data-end=\"3478\"\u003eFridges:\u003c\/strong\u003e Because even leftovers deserve chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3519\" data-end=\"3573\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3521\" data-end=\"3573\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3521\" data-end=\"3549\"\u003eWater bottles \u0026amp; coolers:\u003c\/strong\u003e Hydration but cursed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3574\" data-end=\"3650\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3576\" data-end=\"3650\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3576\" data-end=\"3601\"\u003eDorm doors \u0026amp; lockers:\u003c\/strong\u003e Establish dominance in your hallway instantly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3652\" data-end=\"3750\"\u003eThis \u003cstrong data-start=\"3657\" data-end=\"3675\"\u003ebumper sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e thrives anywhere people can look, pause, and mutter, \u003cem data-start=\"3729\" data-end=\"3748\"\u003e“What the hell…?”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3752\" data-end=\"3755\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3757\" data-end=\"3783\"\u003eThe Frog Army Promise\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3785\" data-end=\"4015\"\u003eHere’s the deal: Frog Mustard runs on chaos, and we make sure you get more bang for your honk. That’s why every order is locked into our \u003cstrong data-start=\"3922\" data-end=\"3943\"\u003eBuy 2, Get 1 Free\u003c\/strong\u003e deal. No coupon codes. No gimmicks. Just automatic chaos at checkout.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4017\" data-end=\"4251\"\u003eWant three stickers that say progressively dumber things? Done. Want to mix magnets and stickers? Absolutely. Want to fill your trunk lid with Frog Mustard’s greatest hits until your neighbors stop making eye contact? We salute you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4253\" data-end=\"4360\"\u003eLife’s too short for boring bumpers. Join the Frog Army. Slap chaos. Confuse strangers. Live deliciously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"4688\" data-end=\"4691\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"4693\" data-end=\"4702\"\u003eBumper Sticker FAQs\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4704\" data-end=\"4841\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4704\" data-end=\"4747\"\u003eQ: Is this sticker weatherproof?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"4747\" data-end=\"4750\"\u003eA: Yes — it’s built with premium vinyl that laughs at rain, car washes, and highway grit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4843\" data-end=\"4986\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4843\" data-end=\"4898\"\u003eQ: Can I order it as a magnet instad of a sticker?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"4898\" data-end=\"4901\"\u003eA: Definitely. Select the magnet option for a removable 30mil thick piece of chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4988\" data-end=\"5134\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4988\" data-end=\"5043\"\u003eQ: Does this qualify for the Buy 2 Get 1 Free deal?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"5043\" data-end=\"5046\"\u003eA: Absolutely. Add any two Frog Mustard designs to your cart and the third ships free.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5136\" data-end=\"5252\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5136\" data-end=\"5166\"\u003eQ: How big is the sticker?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"5166\" data-end=\"5169\"\u003eA: A commanding 8.5\" x 3\", perfect for maximum bumper real estate and visibility.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5254\" data-end=\"5401\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5254\" data-end=\"5293\"\u003eQ: Is this really from a small biz?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"5293\" data-end=\"5296\"\u003eA: Yep. Every Frog Mustard sticker is designed, printed, and shipped by a tiny team (and a doodle dog).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.frogmustardstickers.com\/collections\/all\" title=\"\" target=\"_self\"\u003eShop All\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/frogmustardstickers\" title=\"\" target=\"_self\"\u003eFollow us on Instagram\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Frog Mustard Stickers","offers":[{"title":"Sticker","offer_id":53071718023457,"sku":"86662325607041695531_Bumper2EEE5","price":10.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard Magnet","offer_id":53071718056225,"sku":"Honk Driving Magnet","price":14.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Thick Magnet","offer_id":53071718088993,"sku":"sku-51535806234903","price":16.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0694\/7186\/3073\/files\/honk-if-you-are-driving-3729231.jpg?v=1784868177","url":"https:\/\/shaketeaus.com\/products\/honk-if-you-are-driving","provider":"Shaketea","version":"1.0","type":"link"}