{"product_id":"i-do-not-brake-for-cyclists","title":"I Do Not Brake for Cyclists!","description":"\u003ch1\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI Don’t Brake for Cyclists Sticker – The Most Chaotic Funny Bike Sticker for Agents of Mayhem\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe I Don’t Brake for Cyclists Sticker is the ultimate funny bike sticker for drivers who aren’t here to play nice. It’s not just a bumper sticker—it’s a warning, a power move, and a guaranteed way to get some deeply concerned looks at red lights.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSHARE THE ROAD? MORE LIKE FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eListen, some drivers \u003cstrong\u003ego out of their way to be considerate.\u003c\/strong\u003e Some \u003cstrong\u003egive cyclists plenty of space.\u003c\/strong\u003e And then there’s you—\u003cstrong\u003ea certified menace to two-wheeled society.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSlap this \u003cstrong\u003ehigh-quality vinyl sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e on your \u003cstrong\u003ecar, truck, or anything else with an engine\u003c\/strong\u003e and let the world know:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🚴 \u003cstrong\u003eCyclists, you better pedal faster.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🚗 \u003cstrong\u003eI see your bike lane, and I raise you zero f*cks.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🚴 \u003cstrong\u003eMaybe it’s time for training wheels… on the sidewalk.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd if someone asks, \u003cstrong\u003e“Wait, do you actually hate cyclists?”\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cstrong\u003eJust hit the gas and leave them wondering.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy This Funny Bike Sticker is a Must-Have\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003eInfuriates Cyclists Instantly\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eEnjoy the side-eye at every intersection.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003e8.5\" x 3\" of Pure Chaos\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eBig enough to make enemies.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003ePremium Weatherproof Vinyl\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eWaterproof, UV-resistant, and cyclist-resistant (but please don’t test this).\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003eSticks to Anything\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eCars, motorcycles, ATVs, your reckless driving record.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003eA Certified Funny Sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eBecause bike lanes are just suggestions.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhere to Stick This Funny Sticker for Maximum Disrespect\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🚗 \u003cstrong\u003eYour Car Bumper\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eSo every cyclist behind you fears for their life.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🚗 \u003cstrong\u003eYour Rear Windshield\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eSo they can read it while they nervously pedal past.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🚗 \u003cstrong\u003eYour Laptop\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eSo everyone at the coffee shop knows you’re a menace.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🚗 \u003cstrong\u003eYour Water Bottle\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eStay hydrated, stay controversial.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🚗 \u003cstrong\u003eA Bike Rack (For Legal Reasons, Maybe Don’t)\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eBut imagine the drama.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy This Sticker is a Public Service Announcement\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLet’s be honest:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🚦 \u003cstrong\u003eCyclists act like they own the road.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🚦 \u003cstrong\u003eThey ignore stop signs like it’s a personality trait.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🚦 \u003cstrong\u003eThey cut into traffic, then act offended when you don’t yield.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🚦 \u003cstrong\u003eIf they wanted safety, they wouldn’t be out here playing Frogger in rush hour.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis \u003cstrong\u003efunny sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e isn’t just \u003cstrong\u003ea joke—it’s the truth.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWho Needs This Funny Sticker?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🔥 \u003cstrong\u003eDrivers Who Refuse to Acknowledge Bike Lanes\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eIf it’s in your way, it doesn’t exist.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🔥 \u003cstrong\u003eSticker Collectors Who Appreciate the Unhinged\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eThis belongs in your collection immediately.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🔥 \u003cstrong\u003eThat One Friend Who Thinks Cyclists Should Be Taxed Like Cars\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eYou know exactly who.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🔥 \u003cstrong\u003eAnyone Who Has Ever Been Stuck Behind a Cyclist Going 12 MPH in a 45 MPH Zone\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eYour pain is valid.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🔥 \u003cstrong\u003ePeople Who Drive Like They’re In a Video Game\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eBecause cyclists are just extra obstacles.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSticker Specs – Built for Maximum Road Rage\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🔥 \u003cstrong\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cstrong\u003e8.5\" x 3\"\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eLarge enough to cause chaos.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🔥 \u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Premium vinyl – \u003cstrong\u003eWaterproof, UV-resistant, and 100% legal (barely).\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🔥 \u003cstrong\u003eFinish:\u003c\/strong\u003e Glossy – \u003cstrong\u003eBecause disrespect should shine.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🔥 \u003cstrong\u003eDurability:\u003c\/strong\u003e Built to survive \u003cstrong\u003eharsh weather, angry cyclists, and road rage incidents.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy You Need This Funny Bike Sticker Immediately\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou could be spending your money on \u003cstrong\u003eboring, responsible things like parking fees or car insurance.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOR…\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou could be \u003cstrong\u003eensuring that every cyclist on the road has a minor heart attack when they see your bumper.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003eI Don’t Brake for Cyclists Sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e isn’t just \u003cstrong\u003ea funny bumper sticker.\u003c\/strong\u003e It’s \u003cstrong\u003ea declaration of dominance, a comedy goldmine, and a one-way ticket to making bike lanes slightly more interesting.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd if a cyclist pulls up next to you at a red light? \u003cstrong\u003eJust stare straight ahead. Never break eye contact.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow to Assert Your Road Domination in 4 Easy Steps\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e1️⃣ \u003cstrong\u003eClick ‘Add to Cart’\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eBecause cyclists deserve to be scared.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e2️⃣ \u003cstrong\u003eCheck Out\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eFast, easy, and probably illegal in Portland.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e3️⃣ \u003cstrong\u003eWait for Delivery\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eWe ship fast, but your road rage lasts forever.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e4️⃣ \u003cstrong\u003eStick It Somewhere Legendary\u003c\/strong\u003e – \u003cstrong\u003eThen prepare for the most entertaining drive of your life.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.frogmustardstickers.com\/collections\/all\" target=\"_self\"\u003eShop All\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/frogmustardstickers\" target=\"_self\"\u003eFollow us on Instagram\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Frog Mustard Stickers","offers":[{"title":"Sticker","offer_id":53071694758177,"sku":"cyclists sti","price":10.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard Magnet","offer_id":53071694790945,"sku":"cyclists mag","price":14.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Thick Magnet","offer_id":53071694823713,"sku":"sku-51535797551383","price":16.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0694\/7186\/3073\/files\/i-do-not-brake-for-cyclists-3099763.jpg?v=1784867984","url":"https:\/\/shaketeaus.com\/products\/i-do-not-brake-for-cyclists","provider":"Shaketea","version":"1.0","type":"link"}