{"product_id":"i-was-banned-from-rainforest-cafe-for-fighting-an-animatronic-gorilla-i-won","title":"I was BANNED from Rainforest Café for Fighting an Animatronic Gorilla (I Won)","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"899\" data-end=\"976\"\u003eI Was BANNED from Rainforest Cafe for Fighting an Animatronic Gorilla I Won\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"978\" data-end=\"1033\" class=\"\"\u003eThis Is Not Just a Bumper Sticker. It Is a War Medal\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1035\" data-end=\"1193\" class=\"\"\u003eSome people leave rainforest cafe with overpriced burgers and a plush frog.\u003cbr data-start=\"1110\" data-end=\"1113\"\u003eOthers leave behind scorched earth, a shattered animatronic, and a lifelong ban.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1195\" data-end=\"1479\" class=\"\"\u003eThis 85 x 25 inch weatherproof bumper sticker or magnet is not a joke. It is your battle standard. A vinyl monument to bravery in the most cursed chain restaurant on Earth. You went toe to toe with a fiberglass gorilla mid-rainforest thunderstorm and walked away the undisputed champ.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1481\" data-end=\"1549\" class=\"\"\u003eThis is not a vibe. It is a confession. A warning. A badge of honor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1551\" data-end=\"1554\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1556\" data-end=\"1596\" class=\"\"\u003eThe Animatronic Gorilla Had It Coming\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1598\" data-end=\"1866\" class=\"\"\u003eAnyone who has set foot in a rainforest cafe knows the deal. Every twenty minutes, a prerecorded jungle storm rolls in. Plastic birds scream. Thunder booms. And then it happens. The animatronic gorilla comes to life, slamming its chest and locking eyes with your soul.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1868\" data-end=\"1938\" class=\"\"\u003eMost people sit quietly and sip their souvenir margarita. But not you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1940\" data-end=\"2066\" class=\"\"\u003eYou stood up. You squared your shoulders. You challenged fate and silicone hydraulics in a rainforest-themed Chili's knockoff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2068\" data-end=\"2080\" class=\"\"\u003eAnd you won.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2082\" data-end=\"2085\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2087\" data-end=\"2143\" class=\"\"\u003eBumper Sticker Specs for Champions of Jungle Violence\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2145\" data-end=\"2455\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2145\" data-end=\"2175\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2147\" data-end=\"2175\" class=\"\"\u003eSize 85 inches x 25 inches\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2176\" data-end=\"2224\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2178\" data-end=\"2224\" class=\"\"\u003eMaterial Weatherproof commercial-grade vinyl\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2225\" data-end=\"2285\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2227\" data-end=\"2285\" class=\"\"\u003eFinish Semi-gloss, mildly reflective like your decisions\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2286\" data-end=\"2339\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2288\" data-end=\"2339\" class=\"\"\u003eSticker Permanent, for those who live their truth\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2340\" data-end=\"2393\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2342\" data-end=\"2393\" class=\"\"\u003eMagnet 20 mil thickness for flexible installation\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2394\" data-end=\"2455\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2396\" data-end=\"2455\" class=\"\"\u003eMagnet Upgrade 30 mil for cold climate gorilla combatants\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2457\" data-end=\"2668\" class=\"\"\u003eThis is a real product made by a real small business. Professionally printed. Unprofessionally inspired. No animals were harmed in the manufacturing, but emotionally? Someone is still recovering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2670\" data-end=\"2673\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2675\" data-end=\"2737\" class=\"\"\u003eWhy This Rainforest Cafe Bumper Sticker Belongs on Your Car\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2739\" data-end=\"3106\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2739\" data-end=\"2807\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2741\" data-end=\"2807\" class=\"\"\u003eBecause every scar tells a story and yours involves robotic apes\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2808\" data-end=\"2886\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2810\" data-end=\"2886\" class=\"\"\u003eBecause saying I won a fight is the ultimate icebreaker\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2887\" data-end=\"2950\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2889\" data-end=\"2950\" class=\"\"\u003eBecause this sticker will raise more questions than answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2951\" data-end=\"3024\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2953\" data-end=\"3024\" class=\"\"\u003eBecause the rainforest cafe saga deserves to be memorialized in vinyl\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3025\" data-end=\"3106\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3027\" data-end=\"3106\" class=\"\"\u003eBecause a little chaos goes a long way and your bumper was looking too normal\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3108\" data-end=\"3233\" class=\"\"\u003eSupport a small business and publicly declare your gorilla-based achievements at the same time. This is what we call synergy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3235\" data-end=\"3238\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3240\" data-end=\"3279\" class=\"\"\u003eMagnet or Sticker Choose Your Weapon\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3281\" data-end=\"3302\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3281\" data-end=\"3300\"\u003eSticker Version\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3303\" data-end=\"3447\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3303\" data-end=\"3316\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3305\" data-end=\"3316\" class=\"\"\u003ePermanent\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3317\" data-end=\"3395\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3319\" data-end=\"3395\" class=\"\"\u003eGreat for bumpers, coolers, laptops, or anywhere you want to sow confusion\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3396\" data-end=\"3447\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3398\" data-end=\"3447\" class=\"\"\u003eApply once and live with the consequences forever\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3449\" data-end=\"3468\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3449\" data-end=\"3466\"\u003eMagnet 20 mil\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3469\" data-end=\"3583\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3469\" data-end=\"3482\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3471\" data-end=\"3482\" class=\"\"\u003eRemovable\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3483\" data-end=\"3541\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3485\" data-end=\"3541\" class=\"\"\u003eIdeal for shared vehicles or renters with HOA problems\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3542\" data-end=\"3583\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3544\" data-end=\"3583\" class=\"\"\u003eStrong hold for most weather conditions\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3585\" data-end=\"3612\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3585\" data-end=\"3610\"\u003eMagnet 30 mil Upgrade\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3613\" data-end=\"3733\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3613\" data-end=\"3628\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3615\" data-end=\"3628\" class=\"\"\u003eExtra thicc\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3629\" data-end=\"3695\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3631\" data-end=\"3695\" class=\"\"\u003ePerfect for extreme cold or intense gorilla-related flashbacks\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3696\" data-end=\"3733\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3698\" data-end=\"3733\" class=\"\"\u003eClings like a guilt-ridden memory\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3735\" data-end=\"3876\" class=\"\"\u003eNot all bumpers are magnetic. If your car has a plastic rear end, try the trunk, side doors, or slap it on your fridge and let guests suffer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3878\" data-end=\"3881\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3883\" data-end=\"3913\" class=\"\"\u003eFAQ Rainforest Cafe Edition\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3915\" data-end=\"4035\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3915\" data-end=\"3956\"\u003eQ Is this bumper sticker weatherproof\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"3956\" data-end=\"3959\"\u003eYes It is sunproof, rainproof, powerwash-resistant, and unreasonably durable\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4037\" data-end=\"4150\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4037\" data-end=\"4087\"\u003eQ Will this get me banned \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"4087\" data-end=\"4090\"\u003eIt might If they know you already they will not be surprised\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4152\" data-end=\"4218\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4152\" data-end=\"4178\"\u003eQ Is this a true story\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"4178\" data-end=\"4181\"\u003eThat is between you and mall security\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4220\" data-end=\"4288\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4220\" data-end=\"4253\"\u003eQ Will people understand this\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"4253\" data-end=\"4256\"\u003eAbsolutely not That is the point\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4290\" data-end=\"4398\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4290\" data-end=\"4320\"\u003eQ Can I buy this as a gift\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"4320\" data-end=\"4323\"\u003eYes and you should It is the perfect present for chaotic friends or enemies\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"4400\" data-end=\"4403\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"4405\" data-end=\"4427\" class=\"\"\u003eWho Should Buy This\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"4429\" data-end=\"4627\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4429\" data-end=\"4481\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4431\" data-end=\"4481\" class=\"\"\u003eAnyone who has made a scene at a rainforest cafe\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4482\" data-end=\"4520\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4484\" data-end=\"4520\" class=\"\"\u003eDrivers with main character energy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4521\" data-end=\"4576\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4523\" data-end=\"4576\" class=\"\"\u003ePeople banned from mall restaurants and proud of it\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4577\" data-end=\"4611\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4579\" data-end=\"4611\" class=\"\"\u003eAnyone who respects the absurd\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4612\" data-end=\"4627\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4614\" data-end=\"4627\" class=\"\"\u003eYou Clearly\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"4629\" data-end=\"4632\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"4634\" data-end=\"4683\" class=\"\"\u003eApplication Instructions Because You Need Help\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4685\" data-end=\"4915\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4685\" data-end=\"4696\"\u003eSticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"4696\" data-end=\"4699\"\u003e1 Clean your surface with something that is not a napkin\u003cbr data-start=\"4755\" data-end=\"4758\"\u003e2 Peel the backing like you are revealing forbidden knowledge\u003cbr data-start=\"4819\" data-end=\"4822\"\u003e3 Press down firmly to seal the deal\u003cbr data-start=\"4858\" data-end=\"4861\"\u003e4 Avoid freezing temperatures or the sticker may rebel\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4917\" data-end=\"5164\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4917\" data-end=\"4927\"\u003eMagnet\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"4927\" data-end=\"4930\"\u003e1 Clean metal surface dry and flat\u003cbr data-start=\"4964\" data-end=\"4967\"\u003e2 Avoid placing on curves or textured areas\u003cbr data-start=\"5010\" data-end=\"5013\"\u003e3 Remove and clean the back every few weeks to prevent ring marks\u003cbr data-start=\"5078\" data-end=\"5081\"\u003e4 Do not attempt to magnetize your plastic bumper unless you enjoy disappointment\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"5166\" data-end=\"5169\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"5171\" data-end=\"5207\" class=\"\"\u003eFinal Words Before the Storm Hits\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5209\" data-end=\"5380\" class=\"\"\u003eThis is not just a rainforest cafe bumper sticker. This is your origin story.\u003cbr data-start=\"5286\" data-end=\"5289\"\u003eThis is the thing that will make the person behind you at a red light text their therapist.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5382\" data-end=\"5435\" class=\"\"\u003eIt is absurd It is violent It is legally questionable\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5437\" data-end=\"5453\" class=\"\"\u003eAnd it is yours.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5455\" data-end=\"5515\" class=\"\"\u003eDeclare your victory\u003cbr data-start=\"5475\" data-end=\"5478\"\u003eEmbrace the chaos\u003cbr data-start=\"5495\" data-end=\"5498\"\u003eDefend your title\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5517\" data-end=\"5616\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5517\" data-end=\"5567\"\u003eBuy the bumper sticker. Let the gorillas know.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"5567\" data-end=\"5570\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5570\" data-end=\"5616\"\u003eYou do not forget. And you do not forgive.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5517\" data-end=\"5616\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5570\" data-end=\"5616\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.frogmustardstickers.com\/collections\/all\" target=\"_self\"\u003eShop All\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/frogmustardstickers\" target=\"_self\"\u003eFollow us on Instagram\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Frog Mustard Stickers","offers":[{"title":"Sticker","offer_id":53071710191905,"sku":"Rainforest Cafe Sticker","price":10.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard Magnet","offer_id":53071710224673,"sku":"Rainforest Cafe Magnet","price":14.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Thick Magnet","offer_id":53071710257441,"sku":"sku-51535804334359","price":16.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0694\/7186\/3073\/files\/i-was-banned-from-rainforest-cafe-for-fighting-an-animatronic-gorilla-i-won-6250412.jpg?v=1784868136","url":"https:\/\/shaketeaus.com\/products\/i-was-banned-from-rainforest-cafe-for-fighting-an-animatronic-gorilla-i-won","provider":"Shaketea","version":"1.0","type":"link"}