{"product_id":"jesus-regrets-dying-for-you","title":"Jesus Regrets Dying For You","description":"\u003ch1 data-start=\"164\" data-end=\"226\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"166\" data-end=\"224\"\u003eJesus Regrets Dying for You – Bumper Sticker OR Magnet\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h1\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"228\" data-end=\"298\"\u003eIntroduction: The Bumper Sticker Your Grandma Hopes You Don’t Buy\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"299\" data-end=\"684\"\u003eLet’s be honest: if Jesus came back today, he’d probably scroll through your Instagram stories, shake his head, and mutter, \u003cem data-start=\"423\" data-end=\"454\"\u003e“Yeah, this wasn’t worth it.”\u003c\/em\u003e That’s the energy baked into the \u003cstrong data-start=\"488\" data-end=\"536\"\u003e“Jesus Regrets Dying for You” Bumper Sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e — a chaotic 8.5\" x 2.5\" rectangle of vinyl blasphemy that you can slap on your car, fridge, or the church bulletin board if you’re feeling spicy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"686\" data-end=\"977\"\u003eThis isn’t some limp-dollar-store decal. This is Frog Mustard — the brand unafraid to mix theology with tailgates, spirituality with sarcasm. Available as a premium vinyl sticker or an extra-thick 30mil magnet, this bad boy is ready to endure ridicule, weather, and your eternal damnation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"979\" data-end=\"982\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"984\" data-end=\"1024\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"987\" data-end=\"1022\"\u003eDesign Concept: WWJD? Not This.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1025\" data-end=\"1312\"\u003eThis design says what everyone else is too scared to admit: you might not be the shining example of humanity Christ had in mind. It’s bold. It’s irreverent. It’s the type of message that makes your youth pastor choke on communion wine. And that’s exactly why it belongs on your bumper.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1314\" data-end=\"1317\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1319\" data-end=\"1370\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1322\" data-end=\"1368\"\u003eWhy This Isn’t Just Another Bumper Sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1371\" data-end=\"1565\"\u003eUnlike your third-grade vacation Bible school craft, this thing is built to last. Frog Mustard stickers are \u003cstrong data-start=\"1479\" data-end=\"1508\"\u003eUV and weatherproof vinyl\u003c\/strong\u003e, so they’ll outlive your neighbor’s judgmental stares.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1567\" data-end=\"1837\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1567\" data-end=\"1636\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1569\" data-end=\"1636\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1569\" data-end=\"1578\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 8.5” x 2.5” — the perfect pulpit-to-parking-lot format.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1637\" data-end=\"1684\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1639\" data-end=\"1684\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1639\" data-end=\"1652\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Premium, non-laminated vinyl.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1685\" data-end=\"1775\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1687\" data-end=\"1775\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1687\" data-end=\"1699\"\u003eOptions:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sticker OR \u003cstrong data-start=\"1711\" data-end=\"1733\"\u003e30mil thick magnet\u003c\/strong\u003e that sticks harder than Catholic guilt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1776\" data-end=\"1837\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1778\" data-end=\"1837\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1778\" data-end=\"1793\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/strong\u003e Survives sun, rain, snow, and holy water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1839\" data-end=\"1842\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1844\" data-end=\"1879\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1847\" data-end=\"1877\"\u003eSpecifications at a Glance\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1880\" data-end=\"2273\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1880\" data-end=\"1919\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1882\" data-end=\"1919\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1882\" data-end=\"1899\"\u003eAvailable as:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sticker or Magnet\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1920\" data-end=\"1945\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1922\" data-end=\"1945\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1922\" data-end=\"1931\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 8.5\" x 2.5\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1946\" data-end=\"2008\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1948\" data-end=\"2008\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1948\" data-end=\"1961\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Premium UV\/weatherproof vinyl, non-laminated\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2009\" data-end=\"2059\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2011\" data-end=\"2059\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2011\" data-end=\"2030\"\u003eMagnet Upgrade:\u003c\/strong\u003e 30mil heavy-duty thickness\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2060\" data-end=\"2118\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2062\" data-end=\"2118\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2062\" data-end=\"2074\"\u003eMade in:\u003c\/strong\u003e USA (WA state, blessed by frogs, not God)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2119\" data-end=\"2194\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2121\" data-end=\"2194\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2121\" data-end=\"2134\"\u003eShipping:\u003c\/strong\u003e Free U.S. shipping, 1–3 business days, worldwide delivery\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2195\" data-end=\"2273\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2197\" data-end=\"2273\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2197\" data-end=\"2209\"\u003eCompany:\u003c\/strong\u003e Frog Mustard Stickers — NYT-featured purveyors of irreverence\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2275\" data-end=\"2278\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2280\" data-end=\"2325\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2283\" data-end=\"2323\"\u003eSticker vs. Magnet: Repent or Repeat\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2326\" data-end=\"2344\"\u003eSticker Mode\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2345\" data-end=\"2450\"\u003ePermanent, like the guilt you carry. Once applied, this sticker isn’t going anywhere until Revelations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2452\" data-end=\"2469\"\u003eMagnet Mode\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2470\" data-end=\"2639\"\u003eTemporary salvation. Stick it on Sunday, peel it off before family dinner. Thick, heavy-duty, reusable — this magnet clings harder than evangelists at your front door.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2641\" data-end=\"2644\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2646\" data-end=\"2679\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2649\" data-end=\"2677\"\u003eApplication Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"2680\" data-end=\"2896\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2680\" data-end=\"2751\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2683\" data-end=\"2751\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2683\" data-end=\"2706\"\u003eClean your surface.\u003c\/strong\u003e (Unlike your sins, this part is washable.)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2752\" data-end=\"2826\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2755\" data-end=\"2826\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2755\" data-end=\"2770\"\u003eSlap it on.\u003c\/strong\u003e Don’t overthink it. WWJD? Stick first, confess later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2827\" data-end=\"2896\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2830\" data-end=\"2896\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2830\" data-end=\"2844\"\u003eStep back.\u003c\/strong\u003e Bask in your newfound role as prophet of sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2898\" data-end=\"2993\"\u003eMagnets? Even easier. Toss it on and let it cling like scripture clings to hotel nightstands.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2995\" data-end=\"2998\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3000\" data-end=\"3046\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3003\" data-end=\"3044\"\u003eDurability That Laughs at the Rapture\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3047\" data-end=\"3269\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3047\" data-end=\"3114\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3049\" data-end=\"3114\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3049\" data-end=\"3069\"\u003eUV-resistant ink\u003c\/strong\u003e ensures your heresy won’t fade in the sun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3115\" data-end=\"3197\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3117\" data-end=\"3197\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3117\" data-end=\"3139\"\u003eWeatherproof vinyl\u003c\/strong\u003e shrugs off rain, snow, sleet, and baptismal dunk tanks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3198\" data-end=\"3269\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3200\" data-end=\"3269\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3200\" data-end=\"3223\"\u003e30mil magnet option\u003c\/strong\u003e = a physical manifestation of stubbornness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3271\" data-end=\"3274\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3276\" data-end=\"3330\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3279\" data-end=\"3328\"\u003eShipping \u0026amp; Fulfillment: Fast, Free, Worldwide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3331\" data-end=\"3564\"\u003eFrog Mustard ships from WA state within 1–3 business days because eternity is already long enough. Free U.S. shipping is included, and we’ll send it worldwide — even to Vatican City, though delivery may require divine intervention.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3566\" data-end=\"3569\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3571\" data-end=\"3607\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3574\" data-end=\"3605\"\u003eAbout Frog Mustard Stickers\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3608\" data-end=\"3981\"\u003eWe’re Frog Mustard — the sticker company that proves blasphemy and comedy are a match made in highway heaven. With over 300 designs, retail placements at Zumiez, and a feature in the New York Times, we’ve become the go-to brand for people who want to make strangers laugh, gasp, or honk in disbelief. Every product is printed and shipped in the USA. No miracles required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3983\" data-end=\"3986\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3988\" data-end=\"4014\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3991\" data-end=\"4012\"\u003eWhy You Need This\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"4015\" data-end=\"4246\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4015\" data-end=\"4082\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4017\" data-end=\"4082\"\u003eBecause bumper stickers should start conversations (or fights).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4083\" data-end=\"4168\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4085\" data-end=\"4168\"\u003eBecause you deserve road rage entertainment that doubles as religious commentary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4169\" data-end=\"4246\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4171\" data-end=\"4246\"\u003eBecause Jesus may regret dying for you, but you won’t regret buying this.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"4248\" data-end=\"4251\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"4253\" data-end=\"4282\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4256\" data-end=\"4280\"\u003eFinal Call to Action\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4283\" data-end=\"4471\"\u003eSalvation is overrated, but this \u003cstrong data-start=\"4316\" data-end=\"4364\"\u003e“Jesus Regrets Dying for You” Bumper Sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e isn’t. Add it to your cart now, slap it on your bumper, and become the anti-saint your highway deserves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.frogmustardstickers.com\/collections\/all\" title=\"\" target=\"_self\"\u003eShop All\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/frogmustardstickers\" title=\"\" target=\"_self\"\u003eFollow us on Instagram\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Frog Mustard Stickers","offers":[{"title":"Sticker","offer_id":53071718678817,"sku":"Jesus Regrets Sticker","price":10.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard Magnet","offer_id":53071718711585,"sku":"Jesus Regrets  Magnet","price":14.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Thick Magnet","offer_id":53071718744353,"sku":"sku-51535806169367","price":16.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0694\/7186\/3073\/files\/jesus-regrets-dying-for-you-9338338.jpg?v=1784868179","url":"https:\/\/shaketeaus.com\/products\/jesus-regrets-dying-for-you","provider":"Shaketea","version":"1.0","type":"link"}