{"product_id":"lets-see-those-nipples-jumper-cables","title":"Let's See Those Nipples (Jumper Cables)","description":"\u003ch2\u003eLet's See Those Nipples (Jumper Cables) Vinyl \u0026amp; Magnetic Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLooking for a weird sticker that'll make people do a double-take and then cry-laugh? Congratulations, you magnificent weirdo - you've found it. 🔌\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eWHY THIS MASTERPIECE RULES:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: A thicc 8.5\" x 2.5\" of pure automotive innuendo\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eChoose your adventure: Weatherproof vinyl or magnetic format\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBuilt tougher than your car's will to live\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUV-resistant (because faded jokes are sad jokes)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to make at least one mechanic snort-laugh\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMAGNETIC OPTION: For the commitment-phobes who like to switch things up:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIndustrial-strength grip (clings tighter than your ex)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in standard or 30mil thickness for cold climates\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWon't scratch your precious ride\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for when you need to look \"respectable\" (boooring)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eVINYL OPTION: For those ready to commit to the bit:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium weatherproof vinyl that laughs at rain, snow, and judgmental looks\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProfessional-grade adhesive that sticks like your car's dependency on electricity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eUV-resistant because some relationships should last forever\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHO NEEDS THIS? YOU DO, IF:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou've ever had to jump a car and made inappropriate comments\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour humor is darker than your car's engine bay\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou appreciate a good double entendre\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour car has broken down enough times to develop Stockholm syndrome\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou want to make every parking lot interaction way more awkward\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eQUALITY THAT DOESN'T SUCK: Each Frog Mustard weird sticker is:\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade with premium materials that can handle your bad decisions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted with high-resolution detail (every nipple deserves clarity)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eQuality checked by humans who giggled through inspection\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePackaged with care and a side of judgment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eINSTALLATION: Vinyl: Clean surface, peel, stick, embrace the chaos Magnet: Slap it on, watch people's faces, remove before visiting grandma\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWARNING: Side effects may include:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eExcessive offers to jump other people's cars\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAwkward conversations with police officers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaking new friends in AutoZone\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBeing the talk of the PTA meeting\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDeveloping a reputation as \"that person\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTHE FROG MUSTARD GUARANTEE: We stand behind our products like a tow truck behind your broken-down car. If your weird sticker doesn't meet expectations for premium automotive humor, we'll make it right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTECHNICAL SPECS FOR NERDS:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDimensions: 8.5\" x 2.5\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMaterial: Premium vinyl or industrial-grade magnet\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDurability: Outlasts most relationships\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAwkwardness level: Maximum\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eREAL REVIEWS FROM REAL HUMANS:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ \"Asked a stranger if I could see their nipples. Showed them this weird sticker. Didn't get arrested.\" - Mike T.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ \"My car died at Walmart. Three people offered jumper cables while crying from laughter.\" - Sarah K.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ \"AAA guy took a picture. Now it's hanging in their break room.\" - Dave R.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⭐⭐⭐⭐ \"Lost my job as a driving instructor. Worth it.\" - Patricia M.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ \"Bought the magnetic version to swap with my church parking sticker. Living that double life.\" - Tom B.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDon't let your vehicle go another day without making everyone uncomfortable. Order now and join the elite squad of people who make jump-starting cars way more interesting than it needs to be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRemember: Life is short. Make it weird.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAUTOMOTIVE INNUENDOS YOU CAN USE WHILE WAITING FOR A JUMP:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"Is your battery always this dead, or are you just happy to see me?\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"Nice terminals you got there\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"I promise to be gentle with your posts\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"This isn't my first time handling nipples... automotive ones, that is\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"Your positive is showing\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"Want me to check your voltage? No? Too forward?\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"Those are the most beautiful pair of... cable connections I've ever seen\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"Nice ride, shame about the battery life\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"You must be tired of people asking to see your nipples\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"I bet you say that to all the jumper cables\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSURVIVAL GUIDE: HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS WEIRD STICKER TO DIFFERENT PEOPLE:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTo Your Mom: \"It's about car maintenance, I swear!\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTo Your Boss: \"It promotes automotive safety awareness\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTo Your Date: \"It's a great conversation starter\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTo The Police: \"Officer, I can explain...\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTo Your Mechanic: \"You get it, right?\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTo Your Kids: \"Ask me in 10 years\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTo Your Religious Friends: \"It's a metaphor\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTo Car Enthusiasts: \"Finally, someone who understands!\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTo Your Insurance Agent: \"It helps identify my car in case of theft\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTo Your Therapist: \"And how does this sticker make YOU feel?\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePLACES WHERE THIS STICKER HAS CAUSED CHAOS:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eChurch parking lots (sorry, Pastor Dave)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSchool pickup zones\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDrive-through windows\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCar wash lines\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDMV parking lots (they needed the laugh anyway)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAuto parts stores (where it's actually appreciated)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFirst dates (results may vary)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFamily reunions (definitely a conversation starter)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eJob interviews (maybe remove it first)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTraffic court (judge had a sense of humor)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e#NIPPLESOUT #JUMPERCABLES #FROGMUSTARD WEIRD STICKER FLEET\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.frogmustardstickers.com\/collections\/all\" target=\"_self\"\u003eShop All\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/frogmustardstickers\" target=\"_self\"\u003eFollow us on Instagram\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Frog Mustard Stickers","offers":[{"title":"Sticker","offer_id":53071713632545,"sku":"Jumper Cable Sticker","price":10.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard Magnet","offer_id":53071713665313,"sku":"Jumper Cable Magnet","price":14.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Thick Magnet","offer_id":53071713698081,"sku":"sku-51535805710615","price":16.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0694\/7186\/3073\/files\/lets-see-those-nipples-jumper-cables-4664509.jpg?v=1784868164","url":"https:\/\/shaketeaus.com\/products\/lets-see-those-nipples-jumper-cables","provider":"Shaketea","version":"1.0","type":"link"}