{"product_id":"shhhh-im-sitting-on-my-balls-skeleton","title":"Shhhh I'm Sitting on my Balls (Skeleton)","description":"\u003cp\u003eShhhh I’m Sitting on My Balls – Funny Skeleton Sticker\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1050\" data-end=\"1228\"\u003eIntroducing: \u003cstrong data-start=\"1063\" data-end=\"1098\"\u003e“Shhhh I’m Sitting on My Balls”\u003c\/strong\u003e, the \u003cstrong data-start=\"1104\" data-end=\"1121\"\u003efunny sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e you didn’t know you needed until your lower half made direct contact with the worst geometry known to man.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1230\" data-end=\"1363\"\u003eComplete with a \u003cstrong data-start=\"1246\" data-end=\"1265\"\u003eskeleton design\u003c\/strong\u003e just barely holding it together, this sticker is a shrine to one of life’s most humbling moments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1365\" data-end=\"1368\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1370\" data-end=\"1433\"\u003eThis Funny Skeleton Sticker Speaks to the Soul (and Scrotum)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1435\" data-end=\"1480\"\u003eLet’s break it down.\u003cbr data-start=\"1455\" data-end=\"1458\"\u003eThis is a sticker for:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1482\" data-end=\"1760\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1482\" data-end=\"1544\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1484\" data-end=\"1544\"\u003eGuys who’ve ever sat down too fast and saw the face of God\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1545\" data-end=\"1599\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1547\" data-end=\"1599\"\u003ePeople who live in a permanent state of “what now”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1600\" data-end=\"1648\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1602\" data-end=\"1648\"\u003eSkeleton lovers with deeply unserious brains\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1649\" data-end=\"1717\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1651\" data-end=\"1717\"\u003eFolks who value silence \u003cem data-start=\"1675\" data-end=\"1681\"\u003eonly\u003c\/em\u003e in moments of testicular betrayal\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1718\" data-end=\"1760\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1720\" data-end=\"1760\"\u003eSad little dudes with big sticker energy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1762\" data-end=\"1930\"\u003eThis isn’t a vibe. This is a \u003cem data-start=\"1791\" data-end=\"1803\"\u003ediagnosis.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1803\" data-end=\"1806\"\u003eThis \u003cstrong data-start=\"1811\" data-end=\"1828\"\u003efunny sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e is not subtle, but neither is the pain.\u003cbr data-start=\"1868\" data-end=\"1871\"\u003eWear it loud. Wear it proud. And keep it low to the ground.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1932\" data-end=\"1935\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1937\" data-end=\"1986\"\u003eProduct Specs – Designed for Tragedy Survivors\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1988\" data-end=\"2285\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1988\" data-end=\"2013\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1990\" data-end=\"2013\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1990\" data-end=\"1999\"\u003eSize:\u003c\/strong\u003e 8.5\" x 2.5\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2014\" data-end=\"2054\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2016\" data-end=\"2054\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2016\" data-end=\"2029\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Commercial-grade vinyl\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2055\" data-end=\"2101\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2057\" data-end=\"2101\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2057\" data-end=\"2068\"\u003eFinish:\u003c\/strong\u003e Semi-gloss for emotional shine\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2102\" data-end=\"2170\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2104\" data-end=\"2170\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2104\" data-end=\"2124\"\u003eSticker Version:\u003c\/strong\u003e Permanent (unlike the feeling in your legs)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2171\" data-end=\"2226\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2173\" data-end=\"2226\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2173\" data-end=\"2193\"\u003eMagnet (20 mil):\u003c\/strong\u003e Reusable like your last excuse\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2227\" data-end=\"2285\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2229\" data-end=\"2285\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2229\" data-end=\"2257\"\u003eMagnet Upgrade (30 mil):\u003c\/strong\u003e Cold-resistant like your ex\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2287\" data-end=\"2347\"\u003ePrinted by a small business that also quietly suffers daily.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2349\" data-end=\"2352\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2354\" data-end=\"2394\"\u003eWhere to Stick It (Besides Your Seat)\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2396\" data-end=\"2709\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2396\" data-end=\"2439\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2398\" data-end=\"2439\"\u003eBack bumper of your sedan-turned-sadvan\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2440\" data-end=\"2486\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2442\" data-end=\"2486\"\u003eYour bathroom mirror, for warning purposes\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2487\" data-end=\"2551\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2489\" data-end=\"2551\"\u003eLaptop you haven’t updated since your last lapse in judgment\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2552\" data-end=\"2594\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2554\" data-end=\"2594\"\u003eOffice chair (for thematic continuity)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2595\" data-end=\"2656\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2597\" data-end=\"2656\"\u003eFridge, toolbox, or side of your emotional support cooler\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2657\" data-end=\"2709\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2659\" data-end=\"2709\"\u003eSkeleton shrine (don’t pretend you don’t have one)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2711\" data-end=\"2789\"\u003eThis \u003cstrong data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"2742\"\u003efunny skeleton sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e belongs wherever silence and violence collide.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2791\" data-end=\"2794\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2796\" data-end=\"2845\"\u003eSticker vs. Magnet – Choose Your Recovery Mode\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2847\" data-end=\"2861\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2847\" data-end=\"2859\"\u003eSticker:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2862\" data-end=\"2930\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2862\" data-end=\"2893\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2864\" data-end=\"2893\"\u003ePermanent. Like the trauma.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2894\" data-end=\"2930\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2896\" data-end=\"2930\"\u003eBest for ride-or-die sticker heads\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2932\" data-end=\"2954\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2932\" data-end=\"2952\"\u003eMagnet (20 mil):\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2955\" data-end=\"3047\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2955\" data-end=\"3008\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2957\" data-end=\"3008\"\u003eSwappable for when life keeps switching positions\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3009\" data-end=\"3047\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3011\" data-end=\"3047\"\u003eA little forgiveness goes a long way\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3049\" data-end=\"3079\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3049\" data-end=\"3077\"\u003eMagnet Upgrade (30 mil):\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3080\" data-end=\"3149\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3080\" data-end=\"3111\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3082\" data-end=\"3111\"\u003eSticks harder than a regret\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3112\" data-end=\"3149\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3114\" data-end=\"3149\"\u003eGreat for winter. Or weak pelvises.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3151\" data-end=\"3244\"\u003eModern bumpers are plastic, so slap magnets on your trunk, doors, or any place you sit wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3246\" data-end=\"3249\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3251\" data-end=\"3304\"\u003eApplication Instructions – Hold Still, It's Tender\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3306\" data-end=\"3318\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3306\" data-end=\"3318\"\u003eSticker:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"3320\" data-end=\"3545\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3320\" data-end=\"3370\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3323\" data-end=\"3370\"\u003eClean the surface (emotionally or physically)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3371\" data-end=\"3419\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3374\" data-end=\"3419\"\u003ePeel like you’re removing a medical bandage\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3420\" data-end=\"3493\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3423\" data-end=\"3493\"\u003eStick with the precision of someone trying to avoid another incident\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3494\" data-end=\"3545\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3497\" data-end=\"3545\"\u003eLet cure for 24 hours while you reflect in shame\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3547\" data-end=\"3558\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3547\" data-end=\"3558\"\u003eMagnet:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"3560\" data-end=\"3640\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3560\" data-end=\"3590\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3563\" data-end=\"3590\"\u003eToss it like your dignity\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3591\" data-end=\"3605\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3594\" data-end=\"3605\"\u003eWalk away\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3606\" data-end=\"3640\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3609\" data-end=\"3640\"\u003eAssume the position (carefully)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3642\" data-end=\"3645\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3647\" data-end=\"3678\"\u003eFAQs – Fully Asked Questions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3680\" data-end=\"3719\"\u003eIs this funny sticker waterproof?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3720\" data-end=\"3756\"\u003eYes. Pain doesn’t pause for weather.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3758\" data-end=\"3788\"\u003eWill this actually help?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3789\" data-end=\"3839\"\u003eEmotionally? Absolutely. Physically? No. Seek ice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3841\" data-end=\"3879\"\u003eCan I gift this to my sad homie?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3880\" data-end=\"3930\"\u003eThat’s the only kind of homie worth gifting it to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3932\" data-end=\"3966\"\u003eIs the skeleton sitting too?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3967\" data-end=\"4006\"\u003eYou bet your sweet pelvic region he is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"4008\" data-end=\"4011\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"4013\" data-end=\"4037\"\u003eA Word from the Bones\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4039\" data-end=\"4236\"\u003e“Shhhh I’m Sitting on My Balls” is a \u003cstrong data-start=\"4076\" data-end=\"4093\"\u003efunny sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e that understands you.\u003cbr data-start=\"4115\" data-end=\"4118\"\u003eIt’s been there. It’s \u003cem data-start=\"4140\" data-end=\"4146\"\u003ebeen\u003c\/em\u003e you.\u003cbr data-start=\"4151\" data-end=\"4154\"\u003eAnd now? It’s telling your story in 8.5 inches of unfiltered, bone-chilling truth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4238\" data-end=\"4327\"\u003eWe all have our quiet battles.\u003cbr data-start=\"4268\" data-end=\"4271\"\u003eSome just happen to be \u003cem data-start=\"4294\" data-end=\"4305\"\u003eextremely\u003c\/em\u003e located in the groin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4329\" data-end=\"4411\"\u003eBuy the sticker.\u003cbr data-start=\"4345\" data-end=\"4348\"\u003eWarn the others.\u003cbr data-start=\"4364\" data-end=\"4367\"\u003eAnd for the love of God—\u003cstrong data-start=\"4391\" data-end=\"4411\"\u003esit down slower.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWelcome to Frog Mustard — home of unhinged, weatherproof, high-quality chaos for your car. Est. 2023. Over 50,000 sold, 7,000+ five-star reviews, featured in the New York Times, and stocked in 70+ retail stores (including Zumiez). You're in weird company.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🐸 PRODUCT INFO:\u003cbr\u003e-Rectangular designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches\u003cbr\u003e-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches\u003cbr\u003e-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly. Mockup images are not to scale.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💪 MATERIAL:\u003cbr\u003e-Premium all-weather vinyl\u003cbr\u003e-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe\u003cbr\u003e-Apocalypse-resistant\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧲 MAGNETS:\u003cbr\u003e-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.\u003cbr\u003e-Upgrade to 30 mil on our site — recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧼 STICKER APPLICATION:\u003cbr\u003e-Clean surface with water (avoid detergent or alcohol - but if you must use it - make sure it is all removed prior to applying).\u003cbr\u003e-Dry fully. Apply to smooth, glossy, non-textured areas.\u003cbr\u003e-Press from center out to avoid bubbles.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ MAGNET APPLICATION:\u003cbr\u003e-Only sticks to metal — bumpers on newer cars are often plastic.\u003cbr\u003e-Air bubbles? Normal. Heat helps flatten them.\u003cbr\u003e-Remove before car washes or extreme weather conditions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e❗ DISCLAIMERS:\u003cbr\u003e-We don’t offer refunds for application to textured\/plastic\/dirty surfaces.\u003cbr\u003e-Minor variations in cut\/print are normal — these are handmade.\u003cbr\u003e-These are glossy\/smooth surface, road, and car tested. You assume the risk if you apply to a weird surface.\u003cbr\u003e-If your order arrives damaged, just message us — we’ll make it right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📦 SHIPPING:\u003cbr\u003e-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington\u003cbr\u003e-We ship worldwide 🌍\u003cbr\u003e-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via Etsy or Pitney Bowes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🎁 ALSO FROM FROG MUSTARD:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMonthly Sticker Subscriptions at frogmustardstickers.com\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSubmit a design to our monthly Frog Army Sticker Stars contest and win a free sticker or magnet!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFollow @frogmustardstickers for memes, giveaways, and general chaos\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHY FROG MUSTARD?\u003cbr\u003eBecause we are the best.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eQuestions? hello@frogmustardstickers.com\u003cbr\u003e🛒 frogmustardstickers.com\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🧷 TAGS: funny bumper sticker, weird car magnet, unhinged vinyl decal, frog mustard stickers, waterproof magnet\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.frogmustardstickers.com\/collections\/all\" title=\"\" target=\"_self\"\u003eShop All\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/frogmustardstickers\" title=\"\" target=\"_self\"\u003eFollow us on Instagram\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Frog Mustard Stickers","offers":[{"title":"Sticker","offer_id":53071712944417,"sku":"shhh sticker","price":10.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard Magnet","offer_id":53071712977185,"sku":"shhh magnet","price":14.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Thick Magnet","offer_id":53071713009953,"sku":"sku-51535805022487","price":16.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0694\/7186\/3073\/files\/shhhh-im-sitting-on-my-balls-skeleton-3871036.jpg?v=1784868164","url":"https:\/\/shaketeaus.com\/products\/shhhh-im-sitting-on-my-balls-skeleton","provider":"Shaketea","version":"1.0","type":"link"}