{"product_id":"the-founding-fathers-were-bottoms","title":"The Founding Fathers Were Bottoms","description":"\u003ch2 data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTHE FOUNDING FATHERS WERE BOTTOMS\u003c\/strong\u003e – The Ultimate \u003cstrong\u003ePolitical Sticker (Die-Cut Edition)\u003c\/strong\u003e 🇺🇸🍑\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlright, listen up, history buffs and chaos agents. You ever look at the \u003cstrong\u003eFounding Fathers\u003c\/strong\u003e and think, \u003cem\u003e“Yeah, these guys were definitely not in charge of anything in their personal lives”\u003c\/em\u003e? Because \u003cstrong\u003esame.\u003c\/strong\u003e This \u003cstrong\u003ePolitical Sticker (Die-Cut Edition)\u003c\/strong\u003e is here to remind the world that \u003cstrong\u003ethe men who wrote the Constitution probably had a very submissive energy.\u003c\/strong\u003e And frankly, the \u003cstrong\u003eDeclaration of Independence reads like a very dramatic breakup letter.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHIS POLITICAL STICKER LETS EVERYONE KNOW YOU SEE THROUGH THE FOUNDERS’ TOUGH EXTERIOR 🇺🇸\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis isn’t just a sticker—it’s a \u003cstrong\u003ehistorical revelation.\u003c\/strong\u003e The wigs? The frilly shirts? The obsession with writing long, emotional letters about their \u003cstrong\u003efeelings?\u003c\/strong\u003e Yeah. We’re onto them. If you slap this on your laptop, car, or fridge, be warned: \u003cstrong\u003eyou may cause existential crises among history majors and constitutionalists.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🏆 WHY YOU NEED THIS POLITICAL STICKER:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003ePremium weatherproof vinyl\u003c\/strong\u003e – Tougher than John Adams trying to argue he was a top. 🔥🍑\u003cbr\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003eUV \u0026amp; water-resistant\u003c\/strong\u003e – Unlike the Founders’ ability to keep their emotions in check, this won’t fade.☀️🌊\u003cbr\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003eDie-cut precision\u003c\/strong\u003e – Designed for \u003cstrong\u003emaximum historical accuracy.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003eStrong adhesive backing\u003c\/strong\u003e – Sticks better than Alexander Hamilton stuck to writing dramatic essays.🔥\u003cbr\u003e✅ \u003cstrong\u003eEasy removal\u003c\/strong\u003e – For when the Federalist Society comes knocking. 😬\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWHERE TO FLEX THIS HISTORICAL REWRITE:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-spread=\"false\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🚗 \u003cstrong\u003eYour car\u003c\/strong\u003e – Because traffic needs this important historical correction.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💻 \u003cstrong\u003eLaptop\u003c\/strong\u003e – Let everyone at the coffee shop know \u003cstrong\u003eyou understand American history on a deeper level.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🎒 \u003cstrong\u003eBackpack\u003c\/strong\u003e – Just in case someone needs a spontaneous lesson in Founding Father energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏛 \u003cstrong\u003eYour local history museum\u003c\/strong\u003e – For maximum impact.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📜 \u003cstrong\u003eFramed next to the Constitution\u003c\/strong\u003e – Because the truth deserves to be seen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e🚨 THE UNDENIABLE TRUTH ABOUT THE FOUNDERS 🚨\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sticker isn’t just for laughs—it’s about \u003cstrong\u003eacknowledging what the history books won’t tell you.\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cstrong\u003eJefferson? Emotional. Hamilton? Thirsty for validation. Washington? Probably just tired.\u003c\/strong\u003e If we can rewrite history to make them look heroic, we can \u003cstrong\u003erewrite it to reflect the truth.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWHO NEEDS THIS STICKER?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-spread=\"false\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🍑 \u003cstrong\u003eHistory buffs with a sense of humor\u003c\/strong\u003e – Because we all know at least one Founding Father had \u003cstrong\u003ebottom energy.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🏛 \u003cstrong\u003ePolitical science students\u003c\/strong\u003e – Submit this in your next research paper. I dare you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e😂 \u003cstrong\u003eAnyone who loves absurd humor\u003c\/strong\u003e – This sticker screams \u003cstrong\u003e“I appreciate history, but make it spicy.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🚗 \u003cstrong\u003eDrivers who want to confuse everyone behind them\u003c\/strong\u003e – Mission accomplished.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📜 \u003cstrong\u003eAnyone who believes in historical accuracy\u003c\/strong\u003e – This is the revisionist history we deserve.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSTICKER SPECS:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e📏 \u003cstrong\u003eDie-Cut Shape (Varies by Design)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🛠 \u003cstrong\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e Premium waterproof vinyl\u003cbr\u003e☀️ \u003cstrong\u003eDurability:\u003c\/strong\u003e UV-resistant, scratch-proof, and built to last\u003cbr\u003e📦 \u003cstrong\u003eFinish:\u003c\/strong\u003e Matte for maximum \u003cstrong\u003ehistorical enlightenment aesthetics\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e💪 \u003cstrong\u003eAdhesion:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sticks \u003cstrong\u003ebetter than Hamilton stuck to writing essays about his enemies\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE FOUNDING FATHERS WERE BOTTOMS. ACCEPT IT.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou \u003cem\u003ethought\u003c\/em\u003e you were just buying a sticker. Turns out, you were \u003cstrong\u003ecorrecting the narrative.\u003c\/strong\u003e Get your \u003cstrong\u003ePolitical Sticker (Die-Cut Edition)\u003c\/strong\u003e now and make sure everyone knows: \u003cstrong\u003ehistory needs to be re-evaluated.\u003c\/strong\u003e 🇺🇸🍑\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-pm-slice=\"1 1 []\"\u003eYou ever read \u003cstrong\u003ethe Federalist Papers\u003c\/strong\u003e and think, \u003cem\u003e“Damn, these guys were really writing emotional essays about their feelings like it was their full-time job”\u003c\/em\u003e? Yeah.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eImagine: It’s 1776. Alexander Hamilton is pacing the room. \u003cstrong\u003eHe’s got another dramatic essay to write.\u003c\/strong\u003e Jefferson is in the corner, \u003cstrong\u003escribbling poetic nonsense\u003c\/strong\u003e about freedom and also probably his crushes. Adams is \u003cstrong\u003ecomplaining about something.\u003c\/strong\u003e Washington is \u003cstrong\u003edone with everyone’s nonsense.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd then—someone suggests war. \u003cstrong\u003eThe room gets quiet.\u003c\/strong\u003e Not because they’re scared. No, no. \u003cstrong\u003eBecause they’re wondering if the British soldiers will call them names.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sticker is for those who \u003cstrong\u003eunderstand the nuance of history.\u003c\/strong\u003e The reality that the Founding Fathers weren’t \u003cstrong\u003ejust revolutionaries\u003c\/strong\u003e—they were \u003cstrong\u003emessy, dramatic, and 100% fighting over who got to lead the group project.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🚗 \u003cstrong\u003eHonk all you want, but history is history.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🍑 \u003cstrong\u003eThe Founders would have posted long emotional threads on Twitter.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🔥 \u003cstrong\u003eIf they wrote the Constitution today, it would be in lowercase and unhinged.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOrder now and \u003cstrong\u003eset the record straight.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e Anti conservative stickers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.frogmustardstickers.com\/collections\/all\" target=\"_self\"\u003eShop All\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/frogmustardstickers\" target=\"_self\"\u003eFollow us on Instagram\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Frog Mustard Stickers","offers":[{"title":"Sticker","offer_id":53071681847585,"sku":"The Founding Fathers were Bottoms mag","price":10.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Standard Magnet","offer_id":53071681880353,"sku":"The Founding Fathers were Bottoms sti","price":14.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Extra Thick Magnet","offer_id":53071681913121,"sku":"sku-51535788802327","price":16.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0694\/7186\/3073\/files\/the-founding-fathers-were-bottoms-2118680.jpg?v=1784867808","url":"https:\/\/shaketeaus.com\/products\/the-founding-fathers-were-bottoms","provider":"Shaketea","version":"1.0","type":"link"}